A Year Ago ~ A Year From Now

I graduate this week.  I am entering an internationally ranked, top tier university in the fall. It is my first choice school and the only university I applied to.  I was accepted and granted a generous financial aid award.   There are 18-ish year old graduating high school students all over who cannot make that statement.  When I was 18 I could not have said as much.  I was relgated to an open university that accepted everyone who applied. Not that there is anything inherently wrong with an open university mind you.

For the past three years (I know - this is A Year Ago A Year From Now but its my goddam blogshit so STFU) I have been attending a local community college, finding my way.  Taking classes at GCC started out as something to pass the time after I passed the bar so I didn't drive myself crazy with all that extra free time sinceI was not studying anymore.  I was conflicted about the naturopathic medicine program - which requires a bachelor degree and a lot more basic science pre-requisites, or the Traditional Chinese Medicine program, which only required the associate degree and not as much of the sciences.  I talked myself down from the ND school since it was going to take more time and money to finish a bachelor degree - neither of which I felt I had to spend.

But over the last year things have changed (see - here you go with the year from now).  I was making decisions that "felt like the right thing to do at the time" and stringing those together in some loose nest of what I saw as my future.  I quit my job. I moved to another state with the wrong girl (again).  I restarted my old business.  But it was all bland. Flat. Without passion. Bleh bleh bleh.  It sucked. Realizing the gravity of the mistake involving the really wrong girl I un-did that error and returned to Phoenix to try to figure out what the fuck is going on.

One of the things that was all wrong is I do not want to be a lawyer.  I'm not certain I ever did, but I do not regret the education, or all the blood and tears that went into passing the goddam bar exam.  I just don't want to be a damn lawyer. Big stress off my shoulders with that one!

I also began to have a personal sense of how I had been treating people over the past (insert number of years I have known you here) years.  It wasn't good, but you know this.  After I had a meltdown I figured I owed a few hundred apologies, and for the most part I was able to express those apologies openly and with an honest heart.  Thank you to those who accepted and graciously offered forgiveness.

One apology stands out.  Corbie and I go back 8 years (at least in this lifetime) and you cannot imagine just how stupid I was with her.  What began as an apology turned into the recognition of a relationship that we have both always wanted with each other.    More about that some other time, maybe a year from now?

My son was in the mix through much of the past year and has been living with me.  This has been the best!  As frustrated as it has been, holyshit this kid is freaking awesome!  The few minor issues we are having will resolve themselves with time so I'm not too worried that he hates homework.  He is going to figure all that out.

So here I am, four days away from donning a cap and gown for the first time in my life, and walking across a stage in front of a bunch of people, to accept my Associate of Arts degree from Glendale Community College.  With a 3.75 (or higher) gpa no less.  I was inducted into Phi Theta Kappa so they have a bunch of blingy cords and shinythings to wear during graduation abd GCC gave me some other cord thing to wear too.  And I'm gonna wear it all, because I could never have imagined myself at this point when I was 18, or 28, or even 38.  Friday night I get to go up on that stage in front of my son, my wife, my step-daughter and the rest of my family, and finish something I started on my own, with my efforts, and on my terms.

Then, this fall I begin my journey at Arizona State University where I am pursuing a Bachelor of Science in nutrition and dietetics.  That degree will conclude the admission requirements for the naturopathic medicine school and I'm looking to be enrolling for the ND program in the fall of 2014.  

From my dreams to my tongue, from my pen to the paper, with the support of the only woman who has truly loved me unconditionall, I have realized the secret really is The Secret.   Perhaps this silly blog isn't as silly as I thought?

So a year from now - finishing my first year as a Sun Devil and balancing a great job in a small law firm (I never said I hate the law just the lawyer), I'll be preparing to take some kind of well earned tropical vacation.  I will be starting to work on my application packet for the ND program.  I'll be better when I'm older ....