Whatever it takes...

I was a casualty of the 33.5 % overall pass rate for the February 2009 California Bar Exam.
But don't tell me "I'm sorry" or "That sucks" because its nothing but a thing.

When I started this "thing" I pre-determined I would finish. No matter what. And I will Whatever it takes.

For the last couple of months I have been listening to all the substantive law lectures in my car driving back and forth to the office so I already have reviewed 'The Law.'

Thanks to the very generous (and often unwarranted) support of my Mom I am enrolled in a extensive (and frankly expensive) intensive essay writing program. I know the damn law. I just haven't been able to produce the writing model in my essays that gets the passing scores.

The nice thing about the essay course is its delivered via iPod so I can do it twice or even thrice before July. Whatever it takes.

I am not distressed, or even disappointed. I did the absolute best I could do in February - not something I can say about July 2008. I prepared as strongly as I could have and I fought all three days. I got my teeth kicked in by some of it and I knew it then but I fought on. Whatever it takes.

I am not sad or depressed. I have the strongest and most supportive group of friends and family in my life - the likes of which I have never before experienced. They remind me that there is a big picture and there is life after the bar exam. There is even life during bar review.

I am calm, determined, focused, and intelligent enough to know I cannot simply repeat the incorrect writing style over and over and expect passing results. I am fixing the problem (not so much what I write, but how it is delivered - "a clear, concise, lawyer-like manner"). Whatever it takes.

I will pass the bar exam. Whatever it takes .....