Wastin' Away Again At Margaritaville

November 19, 2007 - Monday

Wastin’ away again at Margaritaville.....

Jimmy Buffet has opened the new Margaritaville Cafe at Westgate Center. The location of this new Margaritaville is only relevant to the very important fact that its within 10 minutes of my home. And they are open until 2am.... thats important too.

I was standing in the lobby Friday night waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting for a table. (SHE was sitting on the floor - I don't know why). The Margaritaville girls were tossing the blow up beach volleyball around, smacking unsuspecting patrons in the head. The smell of margaritas wandered the dining room and I was pretty much drooling from the moment I walked in.

I saw a lot of people bitching about how long it was taking to get their tables. They would approach the host over and over asking "how much longer?" He gave his best smile and said "another ten or fifteen minutes is all." Liar.

I wasn't bitching though. I knew that eventually I would get that frozen concoction that helps me hang on. Even though it was 10pm and I had to be up and in uniform before 5am the next morning.

Some "christian leadership womans blah blah" group walked in and plopped their asses at MY TABLE just as my pager started buzzing. The Margaritaville girls made the little hostess go boot the ass ploppers away from my table and we all watched in delight as they gathered their easter hats and suitcase purses and left the establishment. What were nice christian girls doing in Margaritaville anyway? They obviously do not get the coconut telegraph.

We sat down and as I waited for my margarita to arrive I noticed, for the first time, that Margaritaville is not for everyone.

Its not for the complainy whiney bitch boy who kept bugging the host about how long his table was taking. That little snit wasn't even old enough to drink a margarita.

Its not for the 60 year old guy assgrabbing his 300 pound 17 year old girlfriend either. That was just wrong on so many levels.

Its not for the $30,000 millionairs perching outside in their Hollister shirts and Fossil watches trying to attract the attention of the christian women. Good luck with that boys!

I waited without complaint for much longer than the host told me I would wait for a table. I watched the people come and go. I shook the hand of the mango man. I saw jolly mon and the gray whale and knew that you have to treat Margaritaville like a lady. I saw trays of boat drinks and cheesburgers on my first look around. There was a brown eye'd girl with a sassy hip swing and they even had a front proch swing.

As I glanced at my watch and thought "its five o'clock somewhere" I realized that after all the changes in latitude and California promises I am a lot more like Desdamona than I care to admit (although I'm not building any rocket ship). I reflected on Joe Merhcant and that one particular harbor and the Kinja rules of my day to day life.

I brought that glass to my lips and as i filled my body with the blood of margaritaville I realized I was back where I belong. No, I wasn't drunk for over two weeks this time either.

Some of you know and understand. Some of us sailors call her home.....