What would you do??

What would you do if you were a 19 year old girl on Spring Break? What if you were in Rocky Point Mexico? We all know what you would be doing.

So what would you do if a local radio station in Phoenix, Arizona called your cell phone while you were in Rocky Point for spring break and wanted you to be a "reporter" for them on the air? Keeping in mind this radio station is nationally known for its hijinks and conflict based shows, such as "Spring Break Busts."

Would you tell them about how you ate mushrooms and ended up tweaking yourself into the local 'emergency room' to have your stomach pumped? And if you did would you then tell them how the next night you smoked some meth and eneded up again in the same 'emergency room' to have your stomach pumped again?

And if you did would you really be justified in literally shitting yourself when your father (and college financial aid source) breaks into the conversation and asks you if you have "lost your fucking mind?" Or maybe its the meth effect that made you bust ass all over the random hook-up in bed next to you. We want to know about him next!

Is Daddy pissed because you ate shrooms and smoked a little meth on your very first spring break to the wilds of Ole Mexico and he paid for it? Or is he pissed because yes, you are really that FUCKING DUMB that you would talk about it live on the radio?

Perhaps I am overly suspicious, having been through four wives, three midnight bug outs, two hostile fire zones and a restraining order in a pear tree. But if a radio station called me and wanted me to say some shit about me on the air.... come on are you REALLY that fucking STUPID ?

Another gimick they have is to call and tell you that you won some free flowers and who do you want to send them to. Come the fuck on!! Whoever you pick you can bet the OTHER person, the one you SHOULD have sent them to, is listening in on the conversation. Really ???

But the one that really makes me question are you really that FUCKING stupid is "Confession Wednesday" where they give free concert tickets to the best (and usually criminal) confession. Then they promptly turn over the recordings to local law enforcement and the FBI. Now I realyize that if you have not gone to law school the protections of the Fourth Amendment regarding search and seizure are a concept you dont completely understand but you still know the cops need a warrant right? Well the radio staition is not the cops and they don't need a warrant. And you just confessed to killing so and so or some other gradiose crime ??? Are you fucking KIDDING me ?

Come on people! It amazes me how a couple minutes of airtime and some free tickets can compel you to completely and irrevocably fuck yourself!

So while shrooms girl is at the No Doubt concert I hope she is thinking of ways to finance the next three years at ASU. Perhaps she will go into prostitution or drug sales? Then she can talk about it on Confession Wednesday and get some more tickets! Lets just hope she doesn't fall for the free flower bit when her boyfriend (pick one) gets suspicious and has the same DJ bust her out.....

If a radio station calls me I'm just going to hang the fuck up. Well, unless its Jimmy Buffet tickets.... then who knows??